This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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