There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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