If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Randomize