like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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