i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
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We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
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I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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