i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
There r osticjed everywhere
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
