writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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