k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize