my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
