We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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