This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
