I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
