She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
