he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
