its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I need moral support for this bender
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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