Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
