dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
