Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
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