K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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