She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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