Just fell off a train. Bad.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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