all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
