Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The uberlube is also flammable
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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