i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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