Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize