We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I just gift wrapped bread.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
