Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm bleeding and have questions
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
