They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Houston, we have a blender
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
