How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
