I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
