i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
love makes seman taste better
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
