yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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