my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
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