My room smells like vodka and shame
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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