finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
