Betty ford says i'm here all night
stop calling my apartment porn island.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
