I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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