We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Randomize
