yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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