they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
