That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
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The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
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I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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