somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
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We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
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im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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