Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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