hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
