Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
