I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
