she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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