I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize