You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
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while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
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Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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