I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
