I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
