Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
