Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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