in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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