Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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