i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
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I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
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So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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