White coat. Heels.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Randomize
