I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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