Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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