I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
