Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
