i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
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He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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