Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
